What Counts as 'Creative'?

Today, what counts as creative is blogging.

Yesterday, that question bothered me a bit, as I found that I was putting pressure on myself to do that one. creative. thing. I don't do well with artificial pressure. I wanted to draw another view of "working at home," but it just wasn't working for me. For days I had been having a cut-out dress from last year on my cutting board... but that really wasn't happening, so I packed it up. That was liberating, actually. And then I sat back and read In this House of Brede and didn't worry too much about it.

Today, I discovered the answer.

Most of the day yesterday, I was fretting about food. I guess I realistically bought enough for two weeks.  Problem was, we ate it over two weeks. Because we haven't been going to restaurants. I believe we have eaten out twice in the past three weeks--pizza and hamburgers. The way I see it, the fewer people handling my food right now, the better. But supplies have been dwindling, and even though I ordered "curbside pick up" on Sunday, the first available pick up time was Thursday.**  So after the kids finished off the bread for lunch yesterday, I was stressing about it a bit. I have some beef in the freezer (long story), which is an unusual luxury, but I knew I had not taken it out to thaw soon enough. (It's probably better, since when I opened the vacuum-sealed bags tonight, one smelled strongly of bread. NOT the smell I expect from beef.) I had some chicken and flour, however, so I made chicken with a thick "soup" and made dumplings (or "clouds," as my family fondly called them!--just biscuit dough, but tasty). We didn't have peas or carrots, so we had some frozen broccoli on the side (or in it for those who wanted, which was delicious!). I realize that, although I had ceased to think of it as "creative" unless it was also "fun," cooking is a creative act, and has, in fact, been taking up more of my energy (creative or otherwise) than I'm used to. So I feel somewhat more justified in not jumping in to arts and crafts. After all, I'm also making sure we get our exercise, and trying to earn some portion of my paycheck as well, which has its own challenges.

This may not seem like much of a revelation. I know I knew this at one time. But being utilitarian does not mean that an act is not creative. I can't even make that seem less obvious by verbal artistry. There it is.

To return to reading, I have, I admit, been tempted to put aside Brede. It doesn't move quickly. Reading it is itself a journey and a contemplation. This is the point--the point of my Lenten reading, and the point of the book, I have no doubt. But books that feel like a plodding journey (thinking also of a very different novel--Gaiman's American Gods) do not end up being my favorites. I favor a bit more stimulation. But it is compelling, and though I'm not reading much at a time, I am continuing to read. I just learned that the main character Philippa is about my age, having been married, lost a son, and achieved a high level of success in her career before embarking on her religious vocation. This strikes me in a couple of different ways. However it was presented in the passage I read last night, it occurred to me that (contrary to my desires and expectations) I would not ever achieve that kind of career success--something that hit me hard recently when I learned that now my husband and my very dear friend had achieved the title of "Associate Professor," which I will now never achieve. (I am very proud of them both, and this in no way affects my happiness for them.) But I realize also that I do not have that same emptiness in my life that Philippa had before her vocation. Meaning, I guess, that somewhere in this daily mess, I in fact have my vocation.  Food for thought.

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**This morning, I decided to check SAM's club to see if they were delivering locally, and they are partnering with Instacart to deliver. My first "within 5 hour" delivery was here before lunch! That took a lot of the food pressure away. Yay!

Just Three Things - Working from Home Day 4

No, you haven't missed posts 1-3! I am just joining the crowd online counting the days of self-isolation or quarantine, though we're still more "social distancing" than anything.

I've been struggling recently, not only with writing, but with all things creative. I was released from my academic employment (non tenure track) in May 2018, and from then until April 2019, I was unemployed. It was not a great time for me, but in order to cope, I drew out all of my creative abilities--I drew, I sewed... I even wrote (but not creatively, and mostly to meet a deadline, if memory serves).  I invented a comic that dried up as soon as I was rehired, but which I was very proud of, and posted some samples here.

It all dried up, except for very small bursts, when I was working again. And given that I have an actual book contract (!!), I really need to find some motivation.

So here is an idea that I got from Melanie at Wine Dark Sea, who traces her inspiration (or exercise) to Melissa Wiley: Tell Me Three Things. Mine is "Just Three Things" so that it doesn't sound too ambitious to anyone--including myself!

***

One.

I have still been reading for Lent, but I have not posted. I am reading In This House of Brede and it is a much more Modern (in the 20th C literary sense) novel than I would have expected--meaning that in the literary sense. While it is not Modernist, per se, it moves through characters' consciousness in a way that is distinct in early 20th C literature, and while it is not experimental, it is not exactly linear. It is interesting and challenging, and I have not had a real structurally challenging novel in a while.

I particularly like the... is it a Preface or a Prologue? I am working for a publisher now, so I need to learn these parts of books, but this is a distinction that I've never internalized. Anyway, Rumer Godden's account of becoming acquainted with the Benedictine nuns who would become the source and model for two of her novels (not Black Narcissus) when her sister was pregnant with a high risk pregnancy was fascinating and lovely.

Two.

Did you know that when the weather grows warm, broccoli and broccolini, summer crops, grow faster than you can harvest them, and produce yellow flowers? My current "work-at-home" space overlooks my backyard, where the owners and former residents (for 17 years) set up a number of garden beds, and where we decided to plant some winter crops. We planted chard, leaf lettuce, cauliflower, broccoli, and broccolini--though the only difference I could see between broccoli and broccolini was that the stems of broccoli were a bit thicker. The cauliflower produced four heads, the fourth of which got icky, so I left it. The lettuce first went to seed and then produced abundantly, but it is eaten without being cooked, and I couldn't bring myself to eat it knowing that birds, squirrels, cats, and a little dog who jumped through the back fence all nuzzled up against it at one point or another.  The rainbow chard has been--and continues to be--very productive. And the broccoli/ni are at the end of their growing cycle, but we can't get near them. They are full of honey bees every day! So not only do broccoli produce cute yellow flowers, the bees love them! Who knew?

Three.

One of the best things about working from home is the need to make sure that we all stay active and the ability to follow through with it. We have, in addition to a front yard and a back yard, a wide, quiet street with a park at the end of it, and an equally wide, even quieter short street on the other side of the very narrow park. So every day this week, I've taken my children (now 23, 14, and 12) to the park to walk and bike. True, they don't need me. I guess I could let them go by themselves. But it's nice to be all together. And I need the exercise and the company more than I need the time to myself. It's been nice, and more than once I've wondered whether I might get a job that makes this life possible.

***

There. That wasn't so hard. The last one took me a minute, but not too long. Now let me go write that book... Or make supper, since we're not really eating out right now. I sure could go for a burger, though.